Have you ever visited an adult dating site? I did recently. I was astounded by the numbers of paying members that used it. Sure, it was one of the popular ones, but there were tens of millions of members at this site. The "family friendly" dating sites in comparison look like little niches sites, hardly ever visited.
But the behavior at adult dating sites don't reflect the day to day behavior of people in society. People typically don't go straight to sexual relations. They date, get to know the person, and it progresses from there. So why are these sites so popular?
Clearly the dating site "profile" plays a big part in this. It gives us anonymity from the people we are communicating with, and the rest of the world, till we build a level of trust. As such, the exposure to rejection and pain associated with such rejection is much less on the internet than in real life. Ie. There is very little opportunity for public humiliation. But does this allow people to be more direct, courageous and honest about chasing their sexual desires? Is "under the cloak of darkness" a very real factor here?
If so, it will be interesting to see in coming years, whether the adult dating phenomena will have any impact on society. For example, will the new "honesty" skills we learn on these types of websites translate into "honesty" skills in social situations.
How will dating evolve? Will flirting and good manners gradually disappear, to be replaced by a more direct form of communication. A direct question followed by a direct answer, all based on a courage born from a loss of sensitivity to rejection.
Or will it go the other way? Will we lose our social skills, only being forthright when we have the cover of an "internet alias" or the like.
These questions while interesting, I'll leave for the social historians to answer. I have many too many people to contact today. I've just joined a new site and there are millions of people I haven't met yet.
But the behavior at adult dating sites don't reflect the day to day behavior of people in society. People typically don't go straight to sexual relations. They date, get to know the person, and it progresses from there. So why are these sites so popular?
Clearly the dating site "profile" plays a big part in this. It gives us anonymity from the people we are communicating with, and the rest of the world, till we build a level of trust. As such, the exposure to rejection and pain associated with such rejection is much less on the internet than in real life. Ie. There is very little opportunity for public humiliation. But does this allow people to be more direct, courageous and honest about chasing their sexual desires? Is "under the cloak of darkness" a very real factor here?
If so, it will be interesting to see in coming years, whether the adult dating phenomena will have any impact on society. For example, will the new "honesty" skills we learn on these types of websites translate into "honesty" skills in social situations.
How will dating evolve? Will flirting and good manners gradually disappear, to be replaced by a more direct form of communication. A direct question followed by a direct answer, all based on a courage born from a loss of sensitivity to rejection.
Or will it go the other way? Will we lose our social skills, only being forthright when we have the cover of an "internet alias" or the like.
These questions while interesting, I'll leave for the social historians to answer. I have many too many people to contact today. I've just joined a new site and there are millions of people I haven't met yet.
About the Author:
Jayde Johanssen, bemused by the popularity of adult dating sites, wonders if the phenomena will change society itself
Posts
