The prospects of pulling a couple together after the shock of an emotional affair are complicated. The level of emotions involved are tripled because the person in the affair has lingering feelings outside the marriage, and the person who was cheated on feels even more hurt than if the affair were purely physical in nature. So, what exactly can be done to save a marriage after this mess has been created?
The problem is not so much the affair, but the "emotional" part. Affairs of the body happen every day and many marriages recover from that shock much easier than most would expect. Yet, when one person has a real intimate connection with someone other than their spouse it is much harder to set aside and move on.
There are a couple scenarios in which a marriage cannot move forward after this happens. The first scenario involves the person who was involved in the affair. That person has to first honestly assess whether they are over the emotional connection they had with this other person, or whether their heart is still in the affair. A marriage simply will not work if one person has more emotional investment with someone else.
If in fact the affair is over and the emotions have died down, or it is believed that the emotions for the spouse are much stronger, then the questions shift to the spouse that was cheated on.
The spouse that was actually cheated on is fully entitled to feeling their own set of emotions, but in order to save the marriage they must also open their heart and their mind to the rekindling of romance with their spouse. Both people have to want the marriage to survive or it simply will not do so.
Once both people are on board and ready to move forward, then a period of time will be needed to restore an intimate connection with one another. Trust will have to slowly build up again. The marriage may never go back to exactly where it was before the emotional affair, but an even stronger bond can be formed and a new sense of happiness brought to life.
The journey to save a marriage after this type of devastation must start with open communication. There are lots of hurt emotions at this point, but screaming or getting violent will not work. Both people must talk from the heart and really listen to one another. Then it's up to each person to take action on a daily basis to restore the flame that they once had for one another. This is not an overnight process, but it can in fact lead to an even happier marriage than what they experienced before the affair.
The problem is not so much the affair, but the "emotional" part. Affairs of the body happen every day and many marriages recover from that shock much easier than most would expect. Yet, when one person has a real intimate connection with someone other than their spouse it is much harder to set aside and move on.
There are a couple scenarios in which a marriage cannot move forward after this happens. The first scenario involves the person who was involved in the affair. That person has to first honestly assess whether they are over the emotional connection they had with this other person, or whether their heart is still in the affair. A marriage simply will not work if one person has more emotional investment with someone else.
If in fact the affair is over and the emotions have died down, or it is believed that the emotions for the spouse are much stronger, then the questions shift to the spouse that was cheated on.
The spouse that was actually cheated on is fully entitled to feeling their own set of emotions, but in order to save the marriage they must also open their heart and their mind to the rekindling of romance with their spouse. Both people have to want the marriage to survive or it simply will not do so.
Once both people are on board and ready to move forward, then a period of time will be needed to restore an intimate connection with one another. Trust will have to slowly build up again. The marriage may never go back to exactly where it was before the emotional affair, but an even stronger bond can be formed and a new sense of happiness brought to life.
The journey to save a marriage after this type of devastation must start with open communication. There are lots of hurt emotions at this point, but screaming or getting violent will not work. Both people must talk from the heart and really listen to one another. Then it's up to each person to take action on a daily basis to restore the flame that they once had for one another. This is not an overnight process, but it can in fact lead to an even happier marriage than what they experienced before the affair.
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